Different?

Prospect Bay, originally uploaded by leyaevelyn.

My artist friend Alex Schofield asked me some interesting, thoughtful questions this morning on an all too brief visit. She asked: do I feel different in the process of painting now when the paintings do seem so different than in my recently/previous work.

Actually, I feel different than I did even a few months ago in many ways, not just in painting. But it shows mostly in the changes in my work. Previously my paintings presented a field in which the viewer could submerse his/herself, decide what to feel, how to be in front of the work. Now I am more present in the work. It is coming forward, not moving inward as much.

Changes often can be so subtle they are not noticed until later. These came forcefully, all at once, it seemed. After my exhibit in Memphis, the gates opened. I knew it was going to happen; I just didn’t know how. So when I left for my trip South, I told Sean, who was staying in my house with Lila, that I knew he wouldn’t like the painting over the piano but I was not able to bring it to where I wanted it at that time. And I had too much to do to take it back downstairs. So I had to leave it. Now that I have had time to work on it, it is different, one of my best paintings.

So back to Alex’s question: do I feel different when I am painting. Probably. A lot more free, willing to let things happen, willing to expose parts that usually go underground, able to put more possibilities into a painting. But I’ve always been in love with the process of painting.

I’ll have photos taken in a couple of weeks. That’s when I can really tell how they look. A third eye observing.