The things I didn’t say


P1040353, originally uploaded by leyaevelyn.

Often, usually, after I post I think of lots I left out. So here are a few thoughts about my mother:

First, she was a mass of contradictions, loving and critical, talkative, friendly and angry. I think I am the perfect blend of my parents. I have my father’s reserve and my mother’s craziness. We differed greatly in that she wanted to be an actor, even tried to start a drama school with one or two of her sisters, but it fizzled out. I, on the other hand, am definitely not a performer. She was very intelligent but dropped out of university. My dad said she never wanted to talk about it. So we don’t know that story. And finally, I often think I am living out some of my mother’s fantasies. Even though she was very much home-bound and deeply loyal to my father, my adventurous life would probably appeal to her (of course, minus the various complications along the way).

It’s been less than a week since the workshop, yet it has left a major residue. I keep thinking about what we did and what we didn’t do. What I offered and what more I could offer. In that regard, I definitely would say it was successful. It made me think and feel and ponder. To next year!

#Family #Father #Mother #Thought